Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
