my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
