high people should be assigned attendants
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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