somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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