I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
