What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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