i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
