dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
