just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
