i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
