i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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