I want to have your abortion
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He has the fingertips of a God
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
