i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
