Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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