Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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