I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize