Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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