My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
