haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
