just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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