Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
