i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
