Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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