I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Let's paint friendship bongs
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize