I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
no you cant smoke seaweed
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
