I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
