Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
