I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dick very happy bro
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
