Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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