Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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