So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Boobs are out for the taking
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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