He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
