there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
