plz talk dirty to me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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