just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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