I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
