If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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