Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
