Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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