Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
