Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
