It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
