oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
