Ambien. No doubt about it.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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