Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
