dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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