you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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