Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
