OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
