The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
