So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
this will be a night to untag.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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