I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
