last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
