is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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